So before my mom was murdered, I spent a few weeks in a foster home…bad experience. After my mom died, my dad didn’t want me so I went to live with my Aunt in Louisiana. My brother (who was in the Army) would visit every now and then and I would be miserable when he left, until finally he said I could come and live with him and his family. So I moved to Alabama. My brother decided to get out of the Army and we moved back to Oakland…After a few years, he went back into the army and we moved to Arizona. When he got orders to go to Germany, I went back to Louisiana to live with my sister. After I graduated high school, I joined the army and went to Ft. Jackson for basic training and later to Ft. Gordon for AIT. From there I my first duty station was in Ansbach, Germany. Two years later I was in Ft. Hood, Texas. Next, I was sent to Ft. Clayton, Panama, until I got out of the Army in December of 1993.
From the death of my mother until I got out of the Army in 1993, the longest time I spent in any one place was 4 years. For someone who has identity problems, that is a lot of bouncing around in ones life…no stability. I think it is something that has contributed to the shaping of my personality and the person I am today…not necessarily a good thing.
There have been many kids who bounced around in their childhood. But remember, I had a traumatic event that compounded the issue. Then add the fact that my dad didn’t want me. I didn’t know where I belonged. Then from my aunt to my brother and later to my sister. After that the Army pushed me around here and there.
Me and my wife had an argument (one of many) about Facebook. Although she used to be on Facebook, she doesn’t like it and closed her account. Since she did it, she expected me to do the same. “Who are all of these women on your Facebook”, became the big thing. I explained to her that these people are people who I’ve met over the years, at the various schools I’ve attended and during my Army days. For the sake of keeping the peace, I also told her that I wouldn’t have female on my friends list that I’ve dated or slept with….but that wasn’t good enough for her. So I finally ended up shutting it down.
This really pissed me off because she just doesn’t understand that it is deeper than that for me. She is from Austin and has been here her whole life…I’m not. I’ve met people from everywhere and it is exciting to connect with them after many, many years. The little memories of joy and excitement of friends is all I have from the past….everything else is GONE. They say you shouldn’t live in the past, but sometimes the good memories of the past is what helps you live in the future. Sometimes she sees people that she went to high school with in the grocery store and she never speaks…she’ll just say, “I went to school with her or him”. I’d be like, why don’t you go say hello. For me, that would be exciting…but not her.