I can’t speak for all men, but I would say that one of the most important things a man wants from his woman is affirmation. Right or wrong, a man who has a woman behind him can take on the world. Now a woman can’t replace God; no, we all need God. But even God saw it necessary to create a woman for man.
Sometimes I feel as if I was robbed of all of this. It starts with mom. You can’t get more “affirmation” from anyone more than you can from “mom”. Sometimes I sit and sulk because I never experienced mom telling me “good job”. I could never look into the stands and see mom cheering when I played baseball, basketball or football. I never had the opportunity to bring home a good report card to mom, and see her eyes light up with joy.
It’s not fair, but I often look for that type of affirmation from my wife. She doesn’t know it, but I do. I hardly get it, but deep down inside I know that is what I long for. It is something that is saturated throughout our relationship. We don’t talk to each other like this, but I would love for her to say, “yes, baby that would be nice”, or “I would love that”. No, it is always…”that’s fine” or “I don’t care”. Now don’t get me wrong, I give those same answers too; however, they stem from the point that I still want her to be happy and satisfied with the outcome. Just the other day we were planning to go to Best Buy to look at the Kindle HD. I have three daughters and I want to buy each of them one for Christmas so I was going to put them on lay-a-way. Anyway, we were also going to try out this food truck that has these awesome chicken sandwiches. Well, I forgot about it and was heading towards a Best Buy in a totally different direction. She asked me where I was going and I said Best Buy. Then she asked, “which one”. When I told her she said, “oh, I thought we were going to try that food truck”. I had totally forgot about the food truck and said, “oh, I forgot” and had plenty of time to change directions. In fact, we hadn’t even made it to the turn that would take us in that direction. So I said, “oh, we can go, I totally forgot”. Well, she said, “no it doesn’t matter I’m fine.” At that point, I would have loved for her to say something like, “yeah babe, I want to go and try this chicken sandwich” or something like that. But no…nothing. Silence filled the car until I could find a good question or statement to make to get us talking. I can’t rule out the possibility that she is wanting something from me too.
It’s been years since the adultery. Maybe she is still sour, hurt, disappointed and dejected from that. We all need time to heal from deep wounds like this but I just don’t know. As I mentioned before, there is no excuse for cheating…But as for a reason, this is one.