NOT GoOD ToDAy!

It’s been such a long time since I’ve posted anything here. A lot has happened. In fact, that’s why I’m writing right now. I’m a little broken at the moment. I wanna cry, wanna run and kick stuff over, punch holes in walls and all that. Earlier in the year my son committed suicide. He was only 24 years old and I missed out on his life. The fact is that we hardly knew each other. I mean we talked over the years, but he hated me. I didn’t like it but I guess I can’t blame him…I wasn’t there, just like my father wasn’t there for me!!!!

I learned so much about him by reading his emails, looking at is pictures and stuff. After he died, I search so hard to find out what really happened, and to this day I still don’t believe everything that was presented to me; but that’s another story. I had the honor and privilege of creating his funeral program. It was so hard at one point, but I got through it.

So, from time to time I have these moments. Moments when I just want to STOP….I mean just stop!!!!!!!

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Adultery, Marriage, Parenting, Random, random thoughts, relationships, suicide, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to NOT GoOD ToDAy!

  1. i am so sorry for your loss. i can’t even imagine the pain. xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s