It’s been such a long time since I’ve posted anything here. A lot has happened. In fact, that’s why I’m writing right now. I’m a little broken at the moment. I wanna cry, wanna run and kick stuff over, punch holes in walls and all that. Earlier in the year my son committed suicide. He was only 24 years old and I missed out on his life. The fact is that we hardly knew each other. I mean we talked over the years, but he hated me. I didn’t like it but I guess I can’t blame him…I wasn’t there, just like my father wasn’t there for me!!!!
I learned so much about him by reading his emails, looking at is pictures and stuff. After he died, I search so hard to find out what really happened, and to this day I still don’t believe everything that was presented to me; but that’s another story. I had the honor and privilege of creating his funeral program. It was so hard at one point, but I got through it.
So, from time to time I have these moments. Moments when I just want to STOP….I mean just stop!!!!!!!